Squirtistry

2006-02-18T02:03:00.000-06:00

moved

2006-02-09T14:51:00.000-06:00

This blog closes today.

redundancy

2006-02-08T09:16:00.000-06:00

every other theory serves to just replace religion. the fervour, the devotion, the amazement is just the same.

sandman

2006-02-07T22:47:00.000-06:00

The price of getting what you want, is getting what you once wanted.

wearing sunscreen

2006-02-07T20:24:00.000-06:00

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

nope, not 49931

2006-02-05T14:02:00.000-06:00

someone please oblige me with those from there, though.

update: this is a bummer.

post secret

2006-02-05T10:57:00.000-06:00

screw everything that generates such hope. or maybe i should express awe instead.

giving pornography its dues, finally

2006-02-05T10:29:00.000-06:00

No debauchery compares with thinking. It is most shameful in what positions and with what licentious ease a mind manages to impregnate another mind.

~ WISŁAWA SZYMBORSKA

Szukam Slowa - II

2006-02-05T10:12:00.000-06:00

contd from.

I prefer the cinema.
I prefer cats.
I prefer myself liking humans
to myself loving humanity.
I prefer green.
I prefer not claiming that
the intellect should be blamed for everything.
I prefer exceptions.
I prefer leaving before.
I prefer talking to doctors about something else.
I prefer moralists
who do not promise me anything.
I prefer calculated goodness to goodness that is too gullible.
I prefer conquered countries to the conquering ones.
I prefer having my objections.
I prefer the hell of chaos to the hell of order.
I prefer Grimm tales to the first pages of newspapers.
I prefer leaves without flowers to flowers without leaves.
I prefer noughts that are loose
to those queueing for a digit.
I prefer insect time to stellar time.
I prefer touching wood.
I prefer not asking how much longer and when.
I prefer considering even such a possibility
that existence has its reasons.

moi defeated

2006-02-05T02:29:00.000-06:00

14000 feet, wind that defies gravity, red boulders, clouds that are below you.

featherweight hummingbirds that flit to delude that they are more than just two dozen, smugly disregarding your presence by feeding off your fingers, filling in for incubus days after.

the sharp pain from the tear in your skin from the rockbed of the glacier lake.

the knock of your neighbour protesting your pitched screaming.

the v between the rock shapes.

the incline.

the disc that keeps disappearing and appearing.

the shasta that obliges by maturing in time.

the clayey fat robins that nest in your garden.

600 hours that march in with the sound of running water and the chit chat of the feathery.

gevalia, irish creme, worms and slugs.

the bluejay that lures you into bear country.

the grunt that makes you wish for company while peeing.

the freezing cold shores of bete gris.

the numerous details that overwrite what remains.

and the subtle surrender to the inconspicuous fenetre.

For some, even this is not enough.
They hear the patter of rain,
feel the chill of raindrops on necks and shoulders,
they look at the bridge and people
as if they saw themselves there, in that never ending race
along the endless road, to be traveled for eternity
and they have the audacity to believe
that it is real.

~ Szymborska

treading water

2006-02-04T12:13:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed.

the not-so-common fluenzes

2006-02-01T23:35:00.000-06:00

......... And as women continue to be circumcised against their will in Africa, and girls commit suicide so that their parents do not have to arrange for their dowry in India, I wonder if I should see a doctor about the cold ...... ~ inky

me - am just worried about the long wait and the fact that the doc knows only a little more than i do.

maybe i should be institutionalized, lest i conform too.

words

2006-02-01T22:17:00.000-06:00

that mere play of words can move people is known. i am poor at the art of conveying what i feel, and always crib that people discount my deeds to words, yet i always bow down before a master of words. immortal words some, some that cease with me.

i have always been fascinated by snakes. stumbling upon a snake while walking and seeing it slither away from me is more captivating than anything yet i have seen. to use the allure of a snake to write about repression, glory of sin and hence renunciation of the concept of god and pretentious morality is something that only D.H. Lawrence can pull off.

For a serpent is a thing created. It has its own raison d'etre. In its own being it has beauty and reality. Even my horror is a tribute to its reality. And I must admit the genuineness of my horror, accept it, and not exclude it from my understanding. . . . There is a natural marsh in my belly, and there the snake is naturally at home. Shall he not crawl into my consciousness? Shall I kill him with sticks the moment he lifts his flattened head on my sight? Shall I kill him or pluck out the eye which sees him? None the less, he will swarm within the marsh. Then let the serpent of living corruption take his place among us honourably ...

drawing an analogy between killing a snake and conforming to the whims of society - where are people like him today?

pure envy

2006-01-30T00:23:00.000-06:00

i envy the chinese for having come up with go and written works by realists like sun tzu. that we have no realists or those who preached it is a shame. all we can boast of are idealists, excellently creative epics, non-documented-hence-debated claim of origin of chess and stagnant social attitudes. the stagnancy has been attributed to many reasons like this, though they collectively contribute, i must add that social behaviour that is driven by need for emotional/financial security is the worst interpretation of realism ever.

other side. grass greener. annoying.

par closer

2006-01-28T09:25:00.000-06:00

burn all feminists, engineers, inventors or watever they are called, yeah, burn the linguists too. and burn the guy who first cooked meat on fire. or maybe take over wiki and redefine everything to the age of cave men. and you tell me lions are dumber than men? huh!

post note: why fret? the above is the best solution to every stupid thing there is to fret about. or negates the necessity to create things to fret about.

post note on post note: the google bug led me to this random paper. try composing posts on the search bar, its fun. you need to be a devotee of brevity though.

short (?!) break from war

2006-01-23T09:43:00.000-06:00

yes, i didnt really complete this. i sincerely apologize, but i dont want to finish it however abrupt it ends. i need time and maybe some depression to finish it. i am too detached from the world now and am preoccupied with a multitude of silly delights, minor details and small splashes, so. ah yes, i decided to explain things, for a change. am in a benevolent mood et al, you see.

and sun tzu, u never had to deal with psychological warfare at its best, did you? i bet thats what drove you to the fields :P. anyways, however engaging it might be, i am taking a vacation from it, without leave ;). bonvolu reveni, people.

:X

2006-01-20T15:23:00.000-06:00

next time someone asks you why cows are so sacred, tell them that herd mentality is the main principle by which everything works there, and hence they are so. and no, its not the monkey for us, for even la creme de l'indie act like cows and bulls these days. they just cant outgrow that trait of theirs. frustrating and disappointing.

of nostalgia and greener grass

2006-01-20T14:56:00.000-06:00

FILLMORE: Welcome back to Kapupu Lagoon, Thornton.

THORNTON: I miss the North Pole already. When I look into my frozen Pina Colada, all I see is the rolling snowdrifts of my home.

FILLMORE: It is a little strange that a polar bear keeps showing up around here. Why'd you come back?

THORNTON: Whenever I look at snowdrifts, I see Pina Coladas.

from villains in fairy tales

2006-01-19T12:26:00.000-06:00

as another spinoff of creative redundancy, you always have people reinterpreting classics from the perspective of the antagonist. at one end you have poets like ali writing the wolf's postscript to little red riding hood, on the other end you have an amusing horror/comic writer's rewriting (NSFW) of the snow white tale.

evilatheart, you would want to check out neil gaiman's other works, especially The Sandman . enough blood and gore with cool graphic detail - you might even be tempted to redo the graphic. tipsters do get free previews, i suppose?

p.s. me actually feel good imagining the situ of someone who was a victim of the link not being noted as NSFW before. everyone else, sincere apologies.

:))

2006-01-18T21:07:00.000-06:00

Desire: I should warn you, getting what you want and being happy are two quite different things.

great expectations

2006-01-18T13:54:00.000-06:00

Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity

-- Zeeman.

she has always felt disappointed that her children were leaning more toward mastering complexity than simplicity, she failed to recognize that she never appreciated any attempts at creativity that didnt go in tandem with her world, and hence she herself shunned her children away from it.

maybe she should never realize it. a little disappointment is better than guilt.

or maybe she has the license to do so, she created them, hence she owns them, thus she owes no guilt and is also allowed a huge credit of expectations?

and she tries to kill herself when her child dies, so her expectations are not so great, after all?

building art

2006-01-17T00:51:00.000-06:00

natural light in architecture has long been neglected for the very obvious and rather superficial charm that the artificial has. it must be reviving, though, what with the institution of the international Velux Award and the research put into the creation of this very interesting sunlight simulator. If it really does what it claims to do, thats one neat knowledge based tool.

Szukam slowa

2006-01-17T00:17:00.000-06:00

My apologies to chance for calling it necessity
My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past loves for thinking that the latest is the first.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
I know that I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I myself stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will, speech, that I borrow weighty words,
then labor heavily so that they may seem light.

-- Wislawa Szymborska, the woman who described poetry as a sustaining railing. For some, at some times, maybe.

call me ishmael tonight - II

2006-01-16T23:22:00.000-06:00

Its not easy to outgrow Agha Shahid Ali. And no, the motivation for what follows is not love for an individual. Layers and abstraction in movies, poetry, paintings, etc., done this well, are truly rare and exquisite.

At a certain point I lost track of you.
You needed me. You needed to perfect me.
In your absence you polished me into the Enemy.
Your history gets in the way of my memory.
I am everything you lost. You can't forgive me.
I am everything you lost. Your perfect Enemy.
Your memory gets in the way of my memory:

I am being rowed through Paradise in a river of Hell:
Exquisite ghost, it is night.

I'm everything you lost. You won't forgive me.
My memory keeps getting in the way of your history.
There is nothing to forgive.You can't forgive me.
I hid my pain even from myself; I revealed my pain only to myself.

There is everything to forgive. You can't forgive me.

Or maybe its just his urdu influences, that make them excellent for rereading, for even when he sets aside his abstractions:

"You said each month you need
new blood. Please forgive me, Phil, but I thought
of your pain as a formal feeling, one
useful for the letting go, your transfusions

mere wings to me, the push of numerous
hummingbirds, souveniers of Evanescence
seen disappearing down a route of veins
in an electric rush of Cochineal."

References to Dickinson, nostalgia, and a dying friend. Definitely not a prescription for insomnia.

2006-01-16T10:27:00.000-06:00

it is annoying when people find references for every damn invention in some ancient culture and bring it to your notice with that "it was already there" smug look. the fact that people in that age did not divulge or record details in a better manner, is a shame, not something to be proud of. people can write down and recite mythical stories but stuff like LSD remain a secret for 4000 years - ridiculous.

applesauce-v1.1

2006-01-13T09:34:00.000-06:00

am still silly enough to delight in attentions.
and i really dont like being silly without me intending to.

well, whatever, the fact that me can actually dual boot os X and xp soon makes me realize that i was not far off when i said that google's rather parasitic relationship with you-know-who will actually turn symbiotic in the future. hmmm, now how long do u think that would take? or rather, who would it take for that to happen.

it is sad that the number of stories that can be spun are rather limited to a few plots and once you start frowning at redundancy, life becomes very boring.

common disclaimer

2006-01-13T00:37:00.000-06:00

this is written out of angst from silly things, a little exaggerated maybe. please do not ping/mail/call me regarding anything here. keep in mind that drama has always been my first passion :).

உய்கை

2006-01-12T23:39:00.000-06:00

எனக்கு த்ரோகம் நானே செய்கிறேன்,
எனக்குள் ஒரு விஷச்செடி வளர்க்கின்றேன்,
ஒன்று அழிய,
மற்றொன்று செழிக்கும்,
வேர் எது நிலைத்தாலும்,
முற்றும் நொடி விரைதல் வேண்டும்.

keep committing the same mistakes over and over again - refuse to believe its a non-deliberate mistake anymore. tis reducing to just one vicious cycle, nay spiral.

2006-01-12T14:52:00.000-06:00

cant understand how paranoid a person must be in order to allow their significant other's conversation to a fleeting acquaintance ruin their pleasant demeanor and forget all cultivated mannerisms. or how pathetic a person must be in order to delight in/attempt at provoking jealousy in their would-have-beens or had-beens. and hate it when these people are women.

a river runs through it

2006-01-10T15:14:00.000-06:00

When you are in your teens—maybe throughout your life—being three years older than your brother often makes you feel he is a boy. However, I knew already that he was going to be a master with a rod. He had those extra things besides fine training—genius, luck, and plenty of self-confidence. Even at this age he liked to bet on himself against anybody who would fish with him, including me, his older brother. It was sometimes funny and sometimes not so funny, to see a boy always wanting to bet on himself and almost sure to win. Although I was three years older, I did not yet feel old enough to bet. Betting, I assumed, was for men who wore straw hats on the backs of their heads. So I was confused and embarrassed the first couple of times he asked me if I didn't want "a small bet on the side just to make things interesting." The third time he asked me must have made me angry because he never again spoke to me about money, not even about borrowing a few dollars when he was having real money problems.

We had to be very careful in dealing with each other. I often thought of him as a boy, but I never could treat him that way. He was never "my kid brother." He was a master of an art. He did not want any big brother advice or money or help, and, in the end, I could not help him.

another reason why I think one has to be atleast 70 before one attempts at writing - people like Maclean. Men are more charming as they grow older.

pieces from norman maclean

2006-01-10T12:34:00.000-06:00

"Tell me, why is it that people who want help do better without it - at least, no worse. Actually, that's what it is, no worse. They take all the help they can get, and are just the same as they always have been."

------------

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.

I am haunted by waters.

------------

2006-01-10T07:44:00.000-06:00

An emotion as much tells you nothing about reality, beyond the fact that something makes you feel something.

Ayn Rand
'Philosophical Detection' Philosophy: Who Needs It

வெள்ளை

2006-01-08T09:19:00.000-06:00

உதட்டளவு புன்னகைகள்
கண்ணீர் கைவிட்ட கண்கள்
விறுப்பம் இல்லாத வாழ்க்கை
உன் உணர்வின்றி
இதையும் சுவைக்க
கற்றுக் கொடுத்தாய்
நன்றி

of dreams and poppies

2006-01-08T00:55:00.000-06:00

there was this real sexy RJ called Morpheus on FM during high school. whether it was him, or the craze for mythology i had at the time, cant remember which came first. but it made it easier to dismiss brown's childish attempts at controversy and poorly written works, except for some initial (hate to admit it) awe, it just served as a good silhouette novel substitute minus their better language. being the first introduction to the art and the theories to many, helped sell his books so much, i think. that aside, googling for morpheus, learnt that there were really no stories associated with him, except for the famous in the arms of morpheus picture. found one reproduction of the image on a page on morphine (yes, tis derived from the greek god who takes human forms in mortal dreams). and voila, a set of opium images.

hmmm...wonder if i will get out of this mess where i can watch trainspotting by myself sometime. damned to be denied all simple pleasures in life. and a life that my society would consider ideal, approve, even envy. and am reduced to wishing everyone a long long life, or even immortality if possible.

i agree, next time i find something a good read, will just bookmark it and save the angst (and the link) to self :))

SOS

2006-01-07T19:17:00.000-06:00

i cant seem to place this guy and its driving me nuts. someone please mail me but pls dont remind me of what you think i am.

random theory unscrambled

2006-01-07T18:01:00.000-06:00

if you are gonna say that a series of dissident entities/events that occur in random alludes to the imminent arrival of the agreeable, you have got to reread random theory and get it right this time. the non-occurrence of a number in a random series till then does not imply that the number has a higher probability of occurring, (unless and until the system gets rid of numbers previously generated). if you dont believe its the random theory and say its all chaos, I shall bring to your note that I am being more realistic than a true escapist.

making rain my own way

2006-01-07T16:17:00.000-06:00

to hell with the stupid myth of practicality and preoccupation with usefulness. it is just awesome to ruin your own life and to know it when you do.

i am bored........

2006-01-07T00:55:00.000-06:00

2006-01-05T00:02:00.000-06:00

quit purist (read lazy) ways and process atleast pics like these or, tweak cam to get better results.

yes, neither shall happen, and you shall be ingesting more pics like these :).

note to the impulsive

2006-01-04T23:17:00.000-06:00

never call a guy after months of no communication,
else make sure u recall his name right,
else steer conv. away from the name,
else make sure he does not recognize you,
else atleast damn hang up quick.

coming out of the closet

2006-01-04T23:00:00.000-06:00

a neat way to announce certain facts to your undergraduate classmates:

Some people get themselves involved with Girls . Some
with Music. Some with Arts. The degree varies.
Probably in my case the degree is negligible ( Your
point of view). This is quite natural and not
abnormal.

we agree ;).

solution to all problems: roomies

2006-01-04T13:05:00.000-06:00

this is way better than listening to someone yell at you after you wake them up -- fuelling ammunition to two people fighting and watching them go total nuts.

redundancy not a cosmetic error

2006-01-03T22:15:00.000-06:00

Any coder worth his salt is trained to sniff out redundancy and get rid of it. Though 5NF and a common code library is not always available in practice, redundancy within a piece of code is just inexcusable. This sadly is largely prevalent in most systems. Here is a good anti-redundancy analysis. Even if it sounds a little exaggerated and biased, its certainly better than my peroration on the subject.

Santa & Co. should have granted me a cosmetic tweaking script for vi. Manual cosmetic labour is the worst kind.

Thou shall not scoff at the Lisp

2006-01-02T09:55:00.000-06:00

Who says Lisp is out and gone? Check the MapReduce algorithm, an inherently Lisp based construct used by Google for cluster based large scale data mining.

i heart russell

2006-01-01T10:40:00.000-06:00

This is one movie one I picked with no expectations and no previous introduction/previews. I enjoyed it that way, hence I am going to resist writing anything that would give away anything about it. And what I could possibly write will never truly justify this movie anyway, so I am just going to stick to impressions that would make sense only to self. End disclaimer.

It is reassuring to know that I am still not that kid that watched movies and read books that only reaffirmed or conformed to what I thought I believed in at the moment and could possibly agree with at the least. To read a book, not agree with it, yet enjoy it, is sublime. I Heart Huckabees reminds me of a poem on patterns that a less optimistic, more conservative me wrote a few years ago. A very engaging movie with many layers after a long time.

I have certainly outgrown the kind of movies that take up one heart rending issue and pretend to explore them in a pseudo-attempt to find causes and solutions when the true intention is just to move as many viewers as possible into tears. Sample specimen: Kannathil Muthamittaal. I wonder if I ever will be able to watch that movie again after enjoying the dinner scene in this movie. The way Russell brushed upon a large array of issues sprinkled with humor within the space of 4 minutes is just amazing. And oh yes, I've been disallowed to pick any more movies :)).

did i say that i loathe you?

2005-12-31T08:53:00.000-06:00

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Singer-songwriters are the best. And add La Creme Irish - you have Damien Rice - for fans of well rendered, unsleazy, solo performances. Well, his songs are written from a broken heart and so recurrent, but their excellent delivery and not-so-superficial lyrics make them more affable. I will quit before I sound like an extended commercial.

And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man

Title Footnote: Wish declarations of hate are as welcome as those of love. Maybe we should start by using Lisa Hannigan as the voice-over.

king kong

2005-12-29T01:53:00.000-06:00

I always thought that there should be another tag to categorize movies other than the regular tear-jerker, chick flick, wombat, etc. And what we need is PITB aka pain-in-the-butt. I cant understand movies that are this incredulous and 3 hours long. The only reason why this could be excused is because this does sell and sell this movie will, for sure. And the fact that the movie title alone fuelled a series of unpublishable puns. But its incredulity demanded a walk out half-time. So if you did survive this movie, grant me ignorance of the fact.

in retrospect: PITA sounds better.

call me ishmael tonight

2005-12-27T23:51:00.000-06:00

The moon did not become the sun.
It just fell on the desert
in great sheets, reams
of silver handmade by you.
The night is your cottage industry now,
the day is your brisk emporium.
The world is full of paper.

Write to me.

Four years of ingestion of volumes of material
and still Agha Shahid Ali rules.

2005-12-27T21:48:00.000-06:00

best of 2005

2005-12-27T09:07:00.000-06:00

~

the not-so-lesbian me: "Sure, hon, I was smitten by you since the day I saw you".
the not-so-lesbian girlfriend: "Yeah, right, I am not that good looking".

~

me: "Oh, I really am not into children, I dont need them".
the 63-year-old: "If it is destiny, you will. You do not have anything to do with it."

~

guy: "I am too held up at work to woo you like a 16-year-old, why dont you just understand that you need someone like me? "

~

guy: "Commitment is more mature than a non-recognized relationship"

~

guy: "Drunken dancing is a public nuisance and should be punished"

~

single me: "I dont intend to stay here for longer than five years"
guy: "And what about your husband?"

~

guy: "There is nothing wrong if you do see someone else, as long as I dont get to know about it"

~

me 2 A: "If someone says they wanna marry you, but not for your money/looks, there is something absolutely wrong with them, so please do not even consider them"

~

me: "You have no influence over us, except from the silk route"
guy: "You mean I didnt influence you today, are you sure?"

~

guy: "You know you can always come back to me anytime"
me: "really anytime?"
guy: "well, preferably when I still am single and find you attractive"

~

2005-12-26T13:08:00.000-06:00

damn this f. urge to communicate. or to meet and understand minds. and then the stupid will for stuff that is f. impossible/painful to execute.

I repeat

2005-12-25T23:43:00.000-06:00

Redundancy, like plagiarism, must be delivered well. Other than the timing and the chosen target, a novel method of delivery is essential for it to sell (esp. if you know your target is bound to recognize it as repetitive.)

Like how the simple convenience that cars provide is masked with profundity here:

SEINFELD: Do you know why I love cars? I love cars because when you're driving you're outside and you're inside and you're moving and you're still all at the same time.

or when Scott Adams presents the recurrent theme of procrastination under the new label "imaginary productivity" here .

All other merely aping reproductions and boring conversations serve to toast such geniuses.

the power of procrastination

2005-12-25T22:51:00.000-06:00

All said and done about the stolen fruit. Welcome to the age of the stolen time. There is absolutely nothing to beat time spent reading anything else than your dissertation corrections with a ticking deadline. The list of useless topics that you google is inversely proportional to the time left to finish the said work. And it does not need to be emphasized but the said digging also stops after the said work is finished.

please

2005-12-25T19:03:00.000-06:00

well. say you are bumped off on a flight you thought you were confirmed to go on. and say they dont give you a confirmation in the next flight too. and say you have to travel an hour to get an alternative flight instead. and say you cannot charm the airline representative to get a more decent option since you yelled your head off at her first and then decided to grovel. and say you dont want to take the cab back home but want a friend who just dropped you off to come back all the way from his office just as soon as he reached it to pick you up. and say your cellphone doesnt work in the airport though everyone else's does and you dont want to use the pay phone to call your friend either. please dont harangue in a shrill pitch about a) how important you are b) how important your catching that flight is c) how unjust the airline is d) how much discomfort the current situation is to you e) how you plan to sue everyone f) how the whole system is screwed and g) how your cell phone works in every other place, to an unsuspecting bystander who has nothing to do with your current situation for twenty minutes to borrow his/her damn phone.

a simple "please, i need to make a call and my phone doesnt work" will do.

உடல், பொருள், ஆவி யாவும் உனதே

2005-12-23T11:01:00.000-06:00

The world's oldest, finest and almost always successful pickup line.

belittling

2005-12-23T09:58:00.000-06:00

Gazing at the sky, some people relate to the tiny-speck-in-the-universe feeling,
somehow that almost always extends to a yet-i-am-awesome-since-i-realize-my-insignificance for me.

Tis when I read more, do I realize that I can never claim to be the first person to have felt/thought even some silly thing. The loss of individuality felt is more than a little unsettling.

the other bertie

2005-12-23T08:34:00.000-06:00

There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest — whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories — comes afterward. These are games; one must first answer.

~ Albert Camus, An Absurd Reasoning (1942).

Thank you, friend, I am simply smitten with this guy.

2005-12-20T23:20:00.000-06:00

All I have wanted to do is just one thing for quite sometime now. I can do it, have the means to do it, but I cannot because I have been conditioned not to all my life and more so because of a super-size ego. Damn myself. It is most frustrating when I can see how ridiculous the situation is.

less than twelve hours after: dont have the means to do it. feels much better. am just cravin omnipotency and coffee now.

you wish

2005-12-20T16:37:00.000-06:00

Every generation that came before us had to make a choice in life between pursuing a steady career and pursuing wild adventures. In Silicon Valley, that trade-off has been recircuited. By injecting mind-boggling risk into the once stodgy domain of gray-suited business, young people no longer have to choose. It's a two-for-one deal: the career path has become an adventure into the unknown.

~ Po Bronson, The Nudist on the Late Shift.

If only making it big quicker/in a riskier manner serves to satisfy the urges for pursuing wild adventures. Or maybe it does for the majority of those involved.

a day later: came upon this

sunset on wings

2005-12-19T15:00:00.000-06:00

ADD fuelled trivia

2005-12-18T20:02:00.000-06:00

Feel-good movies dont make me feel good. They make me realize my potential at violence sometimes.

I want to just read the quotable section of every book. A system that does this atleast as good as WikiQuote with minimal human intervention would make a successful webportal theme.

Stick-it notes and todo lists should be framed in the hall of failures.

catch-22 ?

2005-12-14T20:05:00.000-06:00

(A quote from Joseph Campbell on sexual segregation in South Asia:)

Consequence of the partition of the sexes: The chance of personal adventure, determined by the personality of a representative of the opposite world and energized by an unpredicted interplay of the two fundamental human attitudes, is simply not permitted to exist. The results are numerous, among them being a sort of proto-homosexuality, a lack of life-inventiveness, and a satisfaction with clichés.
--Joseph Campbell, Baksheesh and Brahman: Indian journal, 1954-1955 (New York: HarperCollins, 1995).

Though my reasons to advocate against sexual segregation are purely self-serving and probably non-issues to the outside world, if I were to try to reason why noone from the subject population seem to have paid any attention to this piece of work or why the status quo will always be maintained within this population - the stated consequences of the said vice speak for themselves.

frm the MacKinac Link

2005-12-14T15:51:00.000-06:00

now I know

2005-12-12T16:21:00.000-06:00

for sometime now i believed i was becoming a hermit, i was way off the mark. i am more of a wannabe God -- manipulative, detached from society but must have presence everywhere, everyone must love me, the infinite urge to punish, craving omnipotency, hedonism, obsession with drama and theatrics, passion for natural phenomena, amusement in fooling people and experiments with death,
hmmm........
I am God - Love me, Obey Me, Live for me and Die for me.
Be my slave, will ya,
Coz i AM god, almighty.

I Must

2005-12-11T10:07:00.000-06:00

learn to ignore ppl who just sap all my joy in the morning.

solution -- willpower to quit ?

The concept of "willpower" pits the conscious mind against the subconscious mind. In any conflict the subconscious will always triumph, therefore the concept of willpower is largely meaningless. Any notion of overcoming subconscious resistance with conscious will is a myth. Bicameral resonance is a much more accurate and useful concept.

The Myth of Willpower
- by Charles E. Henderson, Ph.D.

I need to be hypotised out of my addiction to Google, first thing.

aahaa

2005-12-10T09:19:00.000-06:00

saturday mornings rule ! coz i dont need to feel like i am the only person being lazy at home, coz i can go to work knowing that am prob gonna be left undisturbed, whatever ..they simply rule.

but todays extra special and this is me saluting to it.

:

2005-12-08T13:25:00.000-06:00

am craving for omnipotence more than ever now, more than coffee.

momentz

2005-11-22T00:30:00.000-06:00

feast

2005-11-20T17:24:00.000-06:00

for the eye around houghton, this fall.

the drudgery of..

2005-11-15T01:50:00.000-06:00

harbored copper - II

2005-11-10T16:45:00.000-06:00

harbored copper - I

2005-11-10T16:34:00.000-06:00

fall & colors - II

2005-11-10T16:25:00.000-06:00

fall & colors - I

2005-11-10T15:44:00.000-06:00